Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
