I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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