I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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