did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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