So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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