i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
