every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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