quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
sex in a hospital.. check
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
