AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize