apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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