Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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