nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
