I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
