I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
