capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
