he's gonorrhea incarnate
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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