I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
