the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So vagazzling was a success
did i just pee glitter
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
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