My hand turned me down
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
