When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
