its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
me + whiskey = a bad person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize