wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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