Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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