I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
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i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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