i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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