I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
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