I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
