I skipped work to stalk him.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Life is so much better after having sex.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
