you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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