I just saw a hot homeless man
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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