the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize