I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
His nipple licking is glorious
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