There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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