he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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