Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
