My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
