Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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