I'd wear matching sweaters with you
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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