Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
my being single is dangerous.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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