Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
