I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Houston, we have a blender
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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