): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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