I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
