I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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