the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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