Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
