I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
