forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
