Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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