Who wears a wallet chain?!
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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