plz talk dirty to me
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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