I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
there's paper in my vomit.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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