He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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