How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
