I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
