I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Randomize
