is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
