Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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