There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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