My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
